My life is now a bit incomplete

I received an email from my father yesterday evening urgently explaining that he needed to ichat. I was a bit alarmed, but nothing prepared me for the news I got.

My dearest and most loving beagle, Indiana, passed away on Sunday morning. Doctors believe it was a tumor, which can explain some of his oddities and habits. I truly never thought this day would ever come. We had him for nearly 4 years and I thought I would have more time with him, even though he was pretty old.

Now I know this doesn't really pertain to my trip to Athens, but it's life altering news. I will no longer have that sweet faced beagle greet me when I return home after 4 long months. It's hard for me to bear that right now. And this will probably affect me in some way while I'm here. I know that I will be at times sad and have bouts of melancholy, but I refuse to be a hermit. I will continue my life, but it will be different, and I'm not sure I will like that.

It's hard to imagine my life without this precious beagle who helped me and my family cope with the death of my grandfather. He provided solace and brought smiles to our faces. It was hard to ever be mad at him for long. My senior year of high school would be dramatically different and college life would be even more different.

Sometimes I might have balked at coming home from school to take care of the dog while the parents were away or not taking certain trips, but in the end, I really didn't mind. I loved him and he loved anybody who would take a second out of their lives to dote on him.

Now, this news is so hard on all of us. Being told through ichat while away in a foreign country is obviously not ideal. I'm a huge mess right now and it doesn't help that there are stray dogs all over Athens that constantly remind me of Indiana. Not able to really say goodbye until months later and not being able to comfort my sisters and parents, who probably took this even harder than we did, is super hard. I feel so distant from everyone.

I truly hope that God is watching over this wonderful dog who just loved to chase bunnies, snuggle up to you, and eat prime rib. A chunk of my heart has gone with him to heaven and my life is now a bit incomplete and it will take a long time for that to heal.

I will always remember and love you, Indiana.